I think one of the major effects of knowing that my blog was going to be read by a lot of people definitely changed what I wrote. First of all, I always feel like I might say something stupid and embarrass myself. It isn’t that I feel like I can’t contribute something, but I do worry that I will sound stupid compared to other things people might say. I have always been bad at classroom discussion and when I read other people’s blog entries, it made me feel stupider. I also feel like I couldn’t share any personal connections because I was worried that someone I know might have read it and been offended. Usually when I write papers, I put in personal connections that often enhance what I am writing about. However, when it came to the blog posts, I had trouble doing that without feeling guilty. I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of my friends or family members that might have come across it someday. It made me hold back on making my posts more interesting. I also had a little bit of trouble writing more than the minimum because I felt like it wasn’t really being graded. I also fear this might have made me look a bit dull in the eyes of my classmates. Most people had some great posts that were really insightful, but I felt like mine were boring and repetitive. This only enhanced the trouble I had with writing the posts because I always ended up comparing myself to everyone else. I felt soft of guilty making people read my post when I hadn’t said much of anything in it.
However, it wasn’t as if using the blog was a terrible experience. Most people say to start with the bad and end with the good, which is something I try to do whenever possible. One of the nice things about having a blog having to not deal with paper or printers – especially since I ran out of ink in the last week of class. There was also the ease of organization. I sometimes have trouble staying organized and will lose papers. The nice thing was that I didn’t have that type of trouble with the blog because all my posts were right there on the blog. It saved me because in the middle of the quarter my laptop crashed and I lost everything. With the blog, I didn’t lose anything important for this class. I also liked how easy it was to use. I didn’t have to worry about losing all my work if my laptop froze because it auto-saved drafts if you paused for more than a few seconds. Since my laptop crashed, it has frozen every few moments. I may have lost a few paragraphs on my papers, but not with my blog. It was a nice little convenient touch considering that during the week I was often really stressed about writing papers since I would often lose my progress. I also liked the fact that I could read the comments of my classmates and it made me think a lot about the stories and what I had written. It also helped me remember a few details for the test we would take after reading the blogs.
All in all, I really liked the use of the blogs. I might have had trouble writing posts, but it did make me feel like people were interested in what I had to say about the stories. I think it is a good idea for an English class and I completely encourage people to use blogs for classes so that they don’t lose their progress and so they can get an idea of what their classmates have to say.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Rough Draft
Before I post this, I want everyone to know that this is a VERY rough draft. This is more to show the bare bones form of the paper. I promise the final product will not be anything like this, save for the structure. I'm aware that this paper has no real introduction and a very small conclusion, but I promise it will be fleshed out by the time I turn it in.
Without realizing it or not, Jackson Squared (the narrator) of What You Pawn I Will Redeem is motivated almost completely by his heritage.
First of all, one of the biggest telltale signs of his motivation by heritage is how he acts in a physical sense. Jackson’s actions show that he is more concerned with his past then he wants the reader to believe. His main motivation (if one does not dig deeper) throughout the story is that he wants to gain his grandmother’s headdress. However, if he did not care about his family, he would not have even bothered to try to get it back. In the end of the story, he dances while wrapped up in the aforementioned headdress – a clear sign that he is connected with his heritage. Another physical sign is the company that Jackson keeps. In the beginning, his original friends are Rose of Sharon and Junior, both of whom are Indians. As the story progresses, he meets two other Indians in a bar and gets drunk with them, perhaps playing to a stereotype.
Another sign of Jackson’s motivation is in the way he talks and describes people. First of all, he often shows these signs in his thoughts. When Jackson looks at someone, he will often bring up what tribe that person is from as if to say that it is important to him. Why would he do this if he was not concerned with the pasts of these people? He will also blame some of his mess-ups on being Indian or try to play up to stereotypes. His words also betray how concerned he is with his heritage and the pasts of the people who surround him. Jackson uses humor more than once as if to try to make people comfortable with the fact that he is a homeless Indian – something seen rather frequently in the West. He also makes a point in the beginning of the story talking about where he is from and what tribe he is from.
Finally, some of Jackson’s own personal details and private thoughts point to the fact that his family and tribal past are incredibly important to him. His family is something he focuses a lot during the short story. It seems that he almost wants to apologize to all the women he’s married and his children, but he cannot seem to bring himself to do it. However, the person he concentrates the most on during the story is his grandmother. She is incredibly important to him and he tells many stories, bringing her up multiple times. The reader also gets the feeling that Jackson Jackson wants to somehow make amends with certain things in his life. One realizes at the end that he does seem to make an apology to his grandmother by dancing in her headdress. Perhaps, though, the one person he makes complete peace with is himself. It seems that when he gets the headdress, he finally forgives himself for the things he has done in his life.
For some people, past is something that is hard to face. They will run from it or try to deny it, but Jackson Jackson seems to embrace it.
Without realizing it or not, Jackson Squared (the narrator) of What You Pawn I Will Redeem is motivated almost completely by his heritage.
First of all, one of the biggest telltale signs of his motivation by heritage is how he acts in a physical sense. Jackson’s actions show that he is more concerned with his past then he wants the reader to believe. His main motivation (if one does not dig deeper) throughout the story is that he wants to gain his grandmother’s headdress. However, if he did not care about his family, he would not have even bothered to try to get it back. In the end of the story, he dances while wrapped up in the aforementioned headdress – a clear sign that he is connected with his heritage. Another physical sign is the company that Jackson keeps. In the beginning, his original friends are Rose of Sharon and Junior, both of whom are Indians. As the story progresses, he meets two other Indians in a bar and gets drunk with them, perhaps playing to a stereotype.
Another sign of Jackson’s motivation is in the way he talks and describes people. First of all, he often shows these signs in his thoughts. When Jackson looks at someone, he will often bring up what tribe that person is from as if to say that it is important to him. Why would he do this if he was not concerned with the pasts of these people? He will also blame some of his mess-ups on being Indian or try to play up to stereotypes. His words also betray how concerned he is with his heritage and the pasts of the people who surround him. Jackson uses humor more than once as if to try to make people comfortable with the fact that he is a homeless Indian – something seen rather frequently in the West. He also makes a point in the beginning of the story talking about where he is from and what tribe he is from.
Finally, some of Jackson’s own personal details and private thoughts point to the fact that his family and tribal past are incredibly important to him. His family is something he focuses a lot during the short story. It seems that he almost wants to apologize to all the women he’s married and his children, but he cannot seem to bring himself to do it. However, the person he concentrates the most on during the story is his grandmother. She is incredibly important to him and he tells many stories, bringing her up multiple times. The reader also gets the feeling that Jackson Jackson wants to somehow make amends with certain things in his life. One realizes at the end that he does seem to make an apology to his grandmother by dancing in her headdress. Perhaps, though, the one person he makes complete peace with is himself. It seems that when he gets the headdress, he finally forgives himself for the things he has done in his life.
For some people, past is something that is hard to face. They will run from it or try to deny it, but Jackson Jackson seems to embrace it.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Essay Topic
I think I will write my essay on What You Pawn I Will Redeem. The essay was, for me, a rather interesting one that kept my attention for a long time. I can't say exactly what I will write about it, but I do know that I will probably end up analyzing the main character as well as his life. The story comes with a huge theme of redemption, so I will also write on that as well. I think, in the end, I will end up tying the story to my own life. Not in the sense that I'm a homeless drunk, but more in the sense that I often do things to try and connect with my heritage. This theme is what drew me to the story in the first place, as I can identify with the main character. Also - the humor he uses is something I have done from time to time to make my own pain seem less. I think this indentification with the main character allows me to connect with him more and will make my final essay a lot more compelling than if I were to do it on something else.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Death And Comedy - Thoughts on the essay by Zadie Smith
This essay actually really resonated with me. My grandfather used to tell a lot of jokes to us and taught me the 'finer points' of comedy. I really do understand what Smith meant when she said they were comedy snobs, because my grandfather tried to educate my family when it came to comedy. We were often made to watch comedians like Eddie Izzard, Lewis Black, and anyone he thought was 'good enough' for us (this did include Monty Python's Flying Circus). When Smith said that she regretted not seeing the body, I think she wanted to show the person she had become.
I really do relate to this as well - my grandfather passed away about two months before my high school graduation. I honestly thought he would live until I was well out of college, especially since he was such a healthy man. In a way, Smith wanted to make sure that her father was proud of her. This is something I can relate to completely, because out of everyone in my family, I also wanted to gain my grandfather's pride about anyone else's. I think that Zadie Smith regrets not seeing the body because it left her without closure.
I really do relate to this as well - my grandfather passed away about two months before my high school graduation. I honestly thought he would live until I was well out of college, especially since he was such a healthy man. In a way, Smith wanted to make sure that her father was proud of her. This is something I can relate to completely, because out of everyone in my family, I also wanted to gain my grandfather's pride about anyone else's. I think that Zadie Smith regrets not seeing the body because it left her without closure.
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